In Your Own Time

Bereavement may be the most personal experience you will have in your lifetime. How you grieve is completely unique to you. 

If you are reading this section then you probably have lost someone important to you, or it is likely that you are facing a bereavement.

You might want to know how to prepare yourself for an expected loss and the events and challenges which inevitably you will face. 

Counselling supports and encourages the experience and expression of all that you are feeling. It can offer you a private space as you come to terms with the loss of that relationship, and as you witness the wider impact it can have on other relationships.

Each person's experience is highly personal and unfolds in an unique way. There is no agenda and no timetable for grieving. In your own time, you grieve.

Erich Keller Counselling

In my practice as a counsellor I have witnessed the process of grieving a person goes through after a loved one or a significant person has died. I have also sat with individuals who were anticipating the death of a loved one as they prepare themselves for the loss and the grieving that is to come. 

Bereavement Counselling

Bereavement counselling can offer support as you try to manage and cope with the all the adjustment and change. Like the stress and challenges of the funeral arrangements and the rituals of saying goodbye, or your family communications and expectations.

Counselling can also provide a place to talk about your experiences in the aftermath of a bereavement as you move through feelings like immense sadness, solitude and loss.

Call: 086-120 6151

Dundrum & Camden Street

Some people experience intense internal pressure to cope, disillusionment, or detachment from everyone and everything. Many feel loneliness, betrayal, abandonment and anger. Counselling can help you to untangle these feelings as you experience the life affecting blow that losing someone you love can cause. 

Bereavement counselling aims to create a personal, safe and comfortable space so that you can talk about everything you experience as you grieve the loss of someone important to you. In your own time you need to grieve.
— EKCounselling

Bereavement Preparation

Bereavement is one of the most profoundly affecting experiences a person will endure. The death of someone you love is painful, numbing, heart-breaking, infuriating, lonely and much more.

The absence of your partner, or your mother, or your child can leave gapping holes in your heart and can undermine the meaning in everything you know.

Death affects your willingness to engage with others, your beliefs, your reason for getting up in the morning and how you sleep at night. Death affects you in many ways and how you manage the changes that grieving brings is truly a process that is unique to you. 

Bereavement Preparation at Erich Keller Counselling

- is a supportive counselling service for those who are facing loss through the death of someone important. 

Over the course of my practise people have come to counselling to talk about their concerns regarding the possible or inevitable death of a loved one.

Conditions like terminal illness, elderly and infirm parents, life threatening surgery, and pregnancy complications are some of the concerns that were presented. 

ANGER RELIEF SHOCK RELEASE DISBELIEF FATIGUE BETRAYAL HEARTBREAK NUMBNESS DISCONNECT DENIAL

- The range of feelings triggered by bereavement is limitless. Each person's experience and needs are unique.


Anticipating death

Can we really prepare for death? Whether the journey is your own and you are facing the end of your life or you are anticipating the death of someone you know or love, is it possible to be 'prepared'?

As soon as a person faces the distinct possibility that someone they love is going to die the bereavement process begins.
— EKCounselling

Counselling offers a support as you try to come to terms with the challenges of facing death. Many aspects of your life can be affected and these changes may have a profound affect on how you cope and mange in the world around you.

The changes may be practical and unavoidable like loss of routine, privacy, finances and lifestyle and independence. Or the changes may take a more abstract form like feeling loss of direction, lack of motivation, a sense of foreboding and fear, or anxiety and panic.

Everyone experiences the anticipation of death, the passing of that person and the subsequent bereavement differently. 

Short Cuts: A Tale of a Sickly Whale from Rosanna Wan. For more Click here.

Counselling supports and encourages the experience and expression of all that you are feeling. 

Whether it is a private space for grieving, or an extra support as you manage and cope with the trauma of losing someone, or as you face your own death and try to prepare yourself. And most importantly, counselling will help you to find a way that you can feel and be present to everything that is happening to you in this time of turmoil, so that you can make the most of the time you have left with the people who are important to you, as you journey with them and as they journey with you.

Your time to grieve

Bereavement can make you feel like you are in a very isolated and dark place. Sometimes when you speak to close family, friends, relatives or partners what you need gets lost in their responses.

Everyone struggles to find the right thing to say. Sometimes in that struggle, a person who is grieving does not get the opportunity to be with their sadness. Part of that sadness may be too personal to share with others who are close to you or it may be too difficult to share with these people who are also grieving. 


Rien n’allait bien ce soir

He sits there an obedient child
Head bowed he wonders what it is he did
That keeps him from running wild.
And all that is young is wondering
What a child is not allowed to hear.

Dressed in black he can’t go back
To the ways that were before
No-one tells him anything and someone is missing
As whispers curl all drenched with tears with
What a child is not allowed to hear.

Et rien n’allait bien ce soir
Ils ne disaient plus rien du tout
Des qu’il le verra dormir
Il se mettra a crier “au secours”
Because a child is not allowed to hear.

Those who stand around never look down
To the child they are speaking of
He doesn’t understand
Il ne pas tant de chagrin
And they all curl, drenched by tears with
What a child is not allowed to hear.
— ELFK (1990)
When the wind is gone
And the silence takes over
You notice everything
That happens around you
Each leaf that is falling
Each bird that is calling
And heaven’s door
Is right at your side

Flowers are blooming
And life is in splendour
You don’t want to enter
But nothing can stop you
There’s love in your heart
There are tears in your eyes
But you must give in
It’s the end of the day

Though there are gardens
Of colour in your name
And stories of your smile
That we’ll gladly tell
Not time nor a moment
Will ever deceive you
For you won the glory
Of eternal life.
— Lyric "Les Jeux Interdits"for Miriam Christine English R.I.P. 1990 - by ELFK

This YouTube video features guitarist Narciso Yepes (1927-1997) playing "Jeux interdits" which was the theme music from the film - also known as Forbidden Games. The young girl pictured is actress Brigitte Fossy who played lead role at an impressive 6 years of age. 

Autumn

Low autumn afternoon
Lawnmower’s last exalt
Laundry baying 
Lines of yellow light
Listening to her
Listening for signs of memories
Leaping heartbeats
Lilies drenched in her dreams
Like mothers over infants 
Lowly watching lowly waiting
Loving mother loving 
Lullaby of sounds
Last lullaby last sounds
— ELFK
Summer

I have yet to hear your laugh
when slumber pushed the determination of clear preserved
memory and the precise colour palette out of reach.
I expected it as I lie in folds and the last hold of starched corners
as they surrender and soften and forget your hand.
I wait pale and burdened under oblique dreams
unable to ready and rise the lost child arms to your protecting love.
I am fooled by the sleeping patch-work echoes of family in
the garden and sun-shadowed laughter that one voice, your voice
will linger on more than the rest.
Ousted and disencumbered by downy grumble half-sleep
I wake clenched by the abating senses and old wanton blind-room
baby cries and realise that neither under the glory of light nor the fog
of inertia will I hear your laugh again.
— ELFK
Scarf

This scarf is for you
It belonged to my mother
If you hold it up close
The scent is still there.
I filled up the basin
I tested the water
I do as she did
For these delicate threads.
I am sure that she wore it
I know these colours
Rolling in folds
The patterned leaves in my hand.
I stand by the basin
I look at the water
I pick up the scarf...
I walk to the garden.
My tears and her scent
Muffle the crying
I breathe in my mother
Her perfume her hair.
I can’t let it go
The last scent of my mother
This scarf meant for you
I put back in the drawer
— ELFK
I Fell To Earth

I fell to earth
cheek over left and
smelt the dust of
life bereft

before her voice before my tears before these words before this fear

Comfort’s lure
upon me pressed
the cries of my
unbodied past

before her voice before my tears before these words before this fear

O night o night
of segments red
reprise the life
this child has lead

And to this eclipse I raise on my brow
the dark water secret of my sorrow
— ELFK